Winter to Spring, 2002
This is the eighth installment of my new blog, Vision: A Journey
Trip to San Diego
After a stressful and challenging fall semester, I prepared to return to my fulltime responsibilities as a faculty member at the University of Minnesota. Before classes resumed in late January, I had planned to attend the Joint Mathematics Meetings in San Diego. I had been asked to serve as a discussant for a session on assessment. Also, I was going to help host a lunch for faculty who had attended workshops as part of the “Chance Project” I had worked on with my colleague Laurie. We had held several summer workshops and now had some funds to gather participants and find out what they had used from these workshops in their own teaching. Laurie was a good 25 years older than me, and somewhat of a father figure, as well as a dear friend. We agreed to meet in San Diego, stay at the same hotel, and basically have our meals together and hang out at the conference. That made it easier for me to travel there on my own.
In addition, I had been to San Diego several times for conferences and felt that I knew the area around the convention center and could find my way around fairly easily. Several of my colleagues from around the country would be there and I would enjoy seeing them (especially after missing the summer statistics meetings).
I remember flying to California to first visit my brother David, who lived in LA. I used my new monocular at the airport to read signs, and my brother met me at LAX. The next day he drove me to San Diego, where I joined my friends. I remember Laurie misplacing his hearing aids and David staying in order to help Laurie find them (in his bathroom, removed while taking a bath). Then David headed back to LA and I went out to a dinner I had organized with several friends. I felt so normal again! It was great to be back in my professional world.
I anxiously anticipated my short presentation as a discussant. How would I handle not being able to see the audience or read my slides? However, my extensive advance practice paid off and I was able to do the job. I remember how my friends came up afterwards to tell me I had done just fine. What a relief!
Throughout the conference, I would hear people call my name and say hello, but I could not see them or know who was talking to me. Once again, this felt frustrating and embarrassing. Many of my colleagues had been worried about me after hearing that I had lost sight in my second eye. But they did not really know or understand the impact this vision loss had on my ability to see and get around. My disability was invisible, and so I tried to let them know what it was like for me. At dinner, I pulled out my big magnifier to read the menu. And sometimes I hed papers up close to my eye to try to read them.
Being able to carry on my normal professional life was very important to me, and going to this conference was my first attempt to do so. Overall, I felt triumphant that I could navigate my way around the convention center and local area. I was still too nervous to ask for help, so I had to walk up to signs such as those on the restrooms and look closely to make sure I was in the right place. Later in life, I would become more at ease with asking people to point out the ladies room.
Return to Teaching
Back in Minneapolis, I was ready to teach my two statistics classes. One was an intro class for graduate students that I had chosen to teach in a computer classroom. This allowed me to project my slides, which were enlarged using ZoomText. I could also demonstrate activities using the statistical software. Just before the semester began, I met Ann, a new student who would be in my class. Once the class started it became clear that she was not only a bright and diligent student, but also a kind and attentive person, always willing to help me with technology issues as they arose. I later asked her to be my research assistant for a new National Science Foundation grant that would last five years. Then I created a post doc position for her when I received an extension to the grant. Since leaving the University of Minnesota, Ann has had a successful career in London, where I visit her whenever I am in the UK.
Hosting a Workshop
For some reason that I can no longer recall, I had organized a workshop during the winter of 2002. This would bring my colleagues Allan and Beth to town to lead activities from their new textbook, as well as Bill, who had developed the software used in the textbook. The workshop was to be all day on Saturday and would be held in the computer lab where I was teaching my statistics class. I must have applied for funding for the workshop, or perhaps the publisher covered the cost. At any rate, I filled the room with local statistics educators.
Although the day went well, we did have a rough start. Somehow, I managed to set off the security alarm when opening the door. There was a sheet of paper attached to the wall, with instructions about what to do and whom to call if the alarm went off. However, I could not read the instructions because I could not get the paper close enough to my eyes. I finally managed to get someone to read the phone number to me and I called the person in charge, who came to our rescue. After that, things improved and I enjoyed interacting with the local teachers as well as spending time with Allan and Beth.
Planning Future Travel
As a result of successfully navigating the conference in San Diego I decided to proceed with plans to attend more conferences that spring and summer. There would be three in the spring as well as a presentation at a local college. My professional duties began to increase as Program Chair of my special interest group (Educational Statisticians) for AERA and Chair-Elect of the ASA Section on Statistics Education. I was also serving as Vice-President of the newly formed International Association for Statics Education (IASE). If that wasn’t enough, I received a call from the chair of the United States Commission on Mathematics Instruction (USCMI), inviting me to be considered for appointment to this prestigious committee of the national Research Council. At first I tried to decline, citing my vision disability and that I would not be able to read materials. However, the chair managed to convince me to change my mind. I would not have to read many materials in advance. And they needed someone to represent statistics education as well as be a female. That would be me. Serving on this committee for the next six years meant two trips a year to meet with the group. So I was agreeing to more solo travel for the years to come.
I had been planning the research program for The International Conference on Teaching Statistics (ICOTS) to be held that summer in South Africa. Now, I realized that I could not travel there alone. It was one thing to go to San Diego on my own, meeting friends there. But South Africa involved more logistics and I did not have anyone to travel with me. Michael had no interest in going to South Africa, and my close friend and colleague at the U of M was not planning to attend. So, I reluctantly informed the program committee I would not be traveling to Durban. Again, I suffered a big disappointment, as I had regularly attended the ICOTS every 4 years since 1990, and had many friends I would see there.
Instead, Michael agreed to plan a trip with me that was not work-related. I had been pining for France. Michael and I had been to Paris in 1995 and now I wanted to travel with him to Provence. I had been dreaming of going to the land of lavender and olive groves, not to mention Rhone wines. Michael agreed to go with me on a trip to Paris and Provence, and the planning began for a trip in late spring.
Creating a New Graduate Program
During the previous year I had created a new graduate program that focused exclusively on Statistics Education. A unique aspect of this program was that it would offer training and experience in research on the teaching and learning of statistics. This graduate program was the first of its kind at a university, and required me to recruit students and propose and prepare new courses. I was excited to launch the program, but nervous about doing it alone, and worried about attracting students. Now with my vision disability, I was even more unsure about whether I could successfully start and run the program.
Luckily, I received a strong application and I eagerly accepted my first doctoral student, Andy, into the new program for the fall of 2002. I created three courses, submitted them for approval, and began publicizing them to attract other students so I could fill the seats and have a critical mass of students. Fast forward to 2020: The program has outlasted me! My colleague Bob now runs the program. We have had many wonderful students earn their doctorates in Statistics Education and take academic jobs around the world. I couldn’t be more proud of this program that had its beginnings during a time of life-altering changes.
And so the winter eventually turned into spring, and I became more familiar and comfortable with my “new normal” as a vision-disabled person. How I used my eyes and dealt with visual input had changed, but my workaholic and overachieving way of life had not. It would be a number of years before I admitted that I could not keep up all the projects and responsibilities I had taken on nor could accomplish as much as I did before losing my central vision.
Next post: A Dark Curtain Descends
